nEvErMoRe

So, I'm 30 now.  To hear tell, you're supposed to have some sort of revelations about that age.  So far I've got nothing.  I've gained about 10lbs back, I'm jobless and while sometimes I want to cry about it, I don't.  I'm working my way through this and I'm finding ways to make it.
I have my health, I have my sanity and I have a great group of friends and family who are supporting me.  So can I ask for everyone else to pucker up.  You bet your ass I can.

Okay, really...5 degrees?!!!  WTF.  I hate the winter, seriously.  I would take the smoldering heat of summer without humidity over this insanity.  I've never thought of myself as a delicate summer flower, but after going out tonight, I'm going to have to rethink that statement.

Maybe its time to look into moving to somewhere sunnier.

So I'm back on track, mostly.  Today turned out to be a good day.  I woke up hungry, did my weigh in and then moved from breakfast through the rest of my day.  I got to the gym, got groceries and was able to get three of the six meals I plan to make this week cooked.  Now, lather, rinse and repeat!

To your left you see a picture of me this past Halloween.  This is after a weight loss of 50lbs.  I did it by Eating Clean, a regimen I found very rewarding and almost easy. 

Following my lay off, I found it just as easy to lay off of Clean Eating.  In my mind I had justified the loss of my job with the loss of my ability to eat the way I had been.  After all I deserved to grieve a little for my old job right?

Well, in reality, I hated my old job; it stifled my creativity and I'm glad to be rid of it.  I liked how my body looked and felt then and I'm determined to get that feeling back.  In fact I had lost another 10lbs after this picture was taken, and though I haven't been eating the best, I'm proud to say that I've lone gained back 3lbs.  But tomorrow is Monday, and for me that means a new day and time to get back "on the good foot."

I had my pity party, I've been working out my job search muscle.  No reason to let the body go back to seed.  So lets see how much more weight I can peel off in time to start my next great adventure.

So instead of listening to my gut and not going on what I knew was going to be a waste of time interview I went anyway...and it was, no surprise a waste of time.  Although I did learn that I have no desire to be a financial planner for anyone.  Not part-time, not full time...at no time.

I really do want a job though...and this smelled of pay something to us and then we give you this kit and off you go into the land of selling.

So today I returned to the same temp agency I used to find my very first temp position when I moved to NOVA...In the five years they've upgraded a bit.  New offices, longer forms, and yet the same silly video about office safety.  I called myself smart for doing the application online the night before so that I could just walk in speak to one of the reps and then walk out, but oh no.  First, there is the review of the application, the presentation of ID and then the ritual sacrifice of a new calf...really.  I was there for an hour just going over the paper work and signing my name everywhere. 

Oh, well, there goes the afternoon, but I did secure information from the rep and she did say she would see what she could find for me, and since they were so good last time, I'm hoping for more of the same.  Tomorrow, will be fun with testing...yay?

So this was me on New Year's eve 2008? or is it 2009?  Whatever, it was that was me.  At first I thought 2008 was going to be my year, but it turned out that in the end it wasn't meant to be.

The year in review:
Found guy friend, but he turned out to want to change the rules midstream into a "relationship" which I did not want.  So dropped like hot potato and moved on.
Lost weight, but plateaued a bit so need to get back on the wagon before further damage is done.
Had job, but was laid off because of economic madness so am now in panic mode while searching for new job before severance package runs out.

And that's where I stand right now.  This year is about doing things for me and doing them the right way.  So, I'll find the job that I want, lose the weight that I want and maybe along the way, find the guy that I want.  Because, while I was happy to see 2008, I was even happier to see it go.

Hello, 2009!

Mission Statement: It is my time to change.  To become better, work harder and be more successful than I have in the past.  I have the drive, I have the means and I have the reasoning to succeed.  Pain is temporary, but pride is forever.  Be the change I wish to see in myself. Rule yourself and you rule the world.

I think this is an appropriate start for the week.  Yesterday, my mission was made of fail as I tried to make it to the gym not once, but twice.  I've been having some issues with my back so even when I've wanted to go to the gym, I've been unable to because I'm afraid of doing more damage to myself.  But I still haven't gone to see a doctor about it because right now I'm dealing with the last bit of my last doctor's visit that ended with surgery.
So we'll see how today turns out.  I've made it a point to go home first and then out to the gym later so that I can avoid the crazy crowds and standing in line waiting for equipment, now I just need my body to cooperate.

Last week diet wise wasn't bad.  I ate what was on my menu and only deviated slightly when I went out to dinner with a coworker.  This week looks to be better.  I've only got one outing with coworkers that may involve food, but its a really nice restaurant so salads will be aplenty.  Wish me luck!  

This is me.  I don't have the braids right now, but I'm working on getting them back.  Meanwhile, I've gone back to eating the way I should.  I'm cutting out the crap food and replacing it with better.  I've dusted off my oldest diet menus cookbook and I've started using it again, beginning with today.  I think this blog will become the dump for what I'm eating for the day.  So here goes everything.

Breakfast
1/2 cup cooked grits
2 strips veggie bacon
1 Atomic Muffin (let me know if you want the recipe)

Snack
                                                            1 apple
                                                               
                                                            Lunch
                                                            Turkey soup
                                                            1 weight watchers chocolate covered coconut by Whitmans (1 WW pt)

                                                            Dinner
                                                            @ a friend's house

The only unknown entity food wise today is the dinner, but I'll just have to make sure that whatever is served I don't eat a whole lot of it.    I've also got my own mission statement.  I plan to memorize this and use it to boost my confidence when I'm low.

Mission Statement: It is my time to change.  To become better, work harder and be more successful than I have in the past.  I have the drive, I have the means and I have the reasoning to succeed.  Pain is temporary, but pride is forever.  Be the change I wish to see in myself. Rule yourself and you rule the world.